Kute Blackson | Following Your Inner Truth From the Author of “The Magic of Surrender”
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As a young boy, Kute Blackson felt a call to alleviate people's suffering, which led him to a path full of challenges and self-discovery. If you're looking for a deeper purpose or meaning in your life, tune in to find out how to follow your inner voice, and be inspired to live an authentic and fulfilling life.
Key Takeaways From This Episode
The challenges of living an authentic life
Consequences of denying what you really want
How to get in touch with your inner truth
Should perfection be your goal?
Is it easy to surrender yourself?
Disclaimer: All of the information and views shared on the Live Greatly podcast are purely the opinions of the authors, and they are not medical advice or treatment recommendations. The contents of this podcast are intended for informational and educational purposes only. Always seek the guidance of your physician or qualified health professional for any recommendations specific to you or for any questions regarding your specific health, your sleep patterns, changes to diet and exercise, or any medical conditions.
Resources Mentioned In This Episode
About Kute Blackson
Kute Blackson is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (YoungPresidents’Organization), and EO (Entrepreneurs Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next-generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically, and fulfill their true life’s purpose.
Connect with Kute
Website: www.kuteblackson.com
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Episode Transcript
Kute (Teaser)
There's no such thing as perfection. If we're meant to do it perfectly, we wouldn't need to incarnate into this human experience. The goal isn't perfection it's to learn, to evolve, to grow so that we can become more of who we really are, more of our true self.
Kristel (Guest Introduction)
So if you're looking to have a deeper meaning and purpose in your life, or if you're just looking to feel better overall, you're going to gain a lot of insights from today's episode with Kute Blackson, Kute is a national best-selling author of you are the one, and he's also recently released a new book, The magic of Surrender, Finding the courage to let go.
Inc. Magazine has said that Kute’s the mindfulness guru that billionaires go to for advice. He's been on Larry King now show, Dr. Drew Fox and friends and more, and he's going to be sharing a lot of insights into his spiritual journey, finding a deeper meaning, the power of surrender and more. So I'm so excited to share this with you.Let's jump right into it and welcome Kute Blackson into the show.
Oh Kute. Thank you so much for taking some time with me today to chat. I'm really excited.
Kute:
It's great to be here.
Kristel:
Amazing. So to start, it would be wonderful if you could share a little bit about yourself and anything that you're currently working on.
Kute:
Sure yeah. I was born in Ghana, west Africa. My father's from Ghana, my mother's Japanese. I grew up in London. I live in the U S and all over. For me,my first memories as a young boy. Was always feeling as a sensitive kid. So I always felt this deep calling to help people in some way, I felt people's pain.
I felt people's suffering. I felt what people were going through, but I didn't know what that was. And it really touched me. And so there was a deep desire to alleviate people's suffering. And so as a young boy and also one of my first memories that really impacted me was I remember being around a 6, 8, 7, 8, 8 in that zone, seeing a crippled woman crawling on the floor and pants and legs, she couldn't walk properly.
And she picks up the sand that this man walks on, wipes on her face and stands up. And so week after week, I grew up in this environment where I saw blind people see and deaf people hear and people stand up out of wheelchairs. And so I was around these miracles every day. Week after week, I grew up seeing the same man who sands picked up, let's say a woman in a wheelchair and they stand up, look at a person who couldn't see him.
Sight be restored. And so this man was my father. He books 300 churches in Ghana, west Africa, books a huge church in London about 5,000 people every Sunday. And so this was my reality. People often say, wow, wasn't that amazing? Wasn't it different? It just seemed normal to me. I mean, this is what I knew growing up as a kid.
And so as a young boy, I already began to delve into questioning. For me I began to ask myself the questions as a young age of who am I and why am I here? And what's the purpose of life? Is it just to wake up, go to sleep, eat, make money, have babies, go on a vacation and then die. Like surely there has to be more to this experience of life than that.
So that became an obsession. As a young boy, this became a quest. This became a journey for me. I started reading books at a very young age, self-help books from around the age of 8, 9, 10, every one from let's see the Eastern mystics to the modern day pops, psychologists, everyone from like Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay and Mark Victor Hansen and to the Maharishi mesh yogis and started meditating having these experiences, but around age, There's one, a pivotal moment happened for me in my journey.
I started to speak in my father's churches, one day my father just threw me in front of the audience and said speak. And that was a hugely impactful moment where something opened up inside me. I didn't know what I was saying, but something started coming through and then age 14. I was actually ordained as a minister in my father's organization.
And I was designated the successor for my father's, you could say legacy. And I was the guy that was supposed to take over and take things to the next level. And when it was announced, everyone was happy but me.. I knew that as much as I wanted to help people as much as I wanted to make a difference, I knew in my soul, in my being, in my gut, I knew that this was not my path.
I knew that this was not my soul's destiny. This was not why I was put on the path. This was not the life I was meant to live. And I think there's no shortage of people that will think they know what's right for you. That will think they know how you should be living and who you should be and what you should be doing.
And if we live our lives, according to other people's expectations and other people's perceptions and dreams and visions. And I think we'll never truly live a fulfilling life. You cannot live a truly fulfilling life. Being someone that you're not living someone else's life. And I started to see that I was going down a path where I was living someone else's life, someone else's vision for my life, and it didn't feel right.
But honestly, at 14 I was too afraid. My fear was if I dare to be myself, if I dare to be who I really was, if I did to speak my truth and speak to my father and tell him how I really feel then. I would lose love. I would lose the relationship. I would be an outcast. I'd be alone. And I think many of us, we hold back who we are.
We hold back what we really want. We hold back what we really want to say our true, authentic expression, because we're afraid that if I bear to be who I really am, I won't be loved.
And so. That was really painful for me and as a young man. And so for four years, I went through this period of turmoil and questioning and depression and sadness and internal conflict inside, knowing that I was not living my truth.
I think one of the most courageous things we can do. As a human being is to live our truth and be who we really are. And so for four years, I went through this turmoil and questioning, but when I turned 18, 19, I had to make a decision and life is full of decisions. And so I looked into my future and I saw that I could follow the expected path and be successful and be famous, successful, build on what my father had built.
But I looked into my future twenties, 38, 48, 58, 60, and I realized. If I don't have myself, if I don't have my soul, if I don't have my authenticity, I don't have my truth. What the hell do I have? And it just felt like a slow suicide. And then I looked into this other alternative path. For me, I felt that there was something in my soul calling me in a different direction.
I wanted to inspire people, but not through the church. I wanted to inspire people, but not to religion. I wanted to inspire people through self-help and spirituality and personal development. And there was this path calling me. I had no idea where it was taking me, no idea what it was going to look like.
All I knew was when I felt into the deepest part of my soul, there was an undeniable calling, moving me in a direction. I decided to follow. And that led to me taking the courageous decision to speak to my father and tell him I'm not taking over. Cut a long story short, we didn't speak for two years. It was very, very difficult.
Sometimes people think that when you follow your soul, when you follow your purpose, when you follow your vision, it's easy. In fact, I think sometimes when you follow your soul, when you follow your truth, it can be challenging, but that is not a sign that you are not on the right path. Sometimes we think, wow, what's challenging is difficult.
Maybe I'm on the wrong path, I think is sometimes a sign that you're on the right path. Because when you truly follow your authentic impulse, your soul's guidance, we sometimes have to be tested and go through tests and challenges so that we can actually develop the internal strength, the internal muscles and those challenges and those tests, I think actually, make us stronger and prepare us for our mission and our vision in this lifetime.
And so I went through a whole bunch of tests and it was challenging. It was difficult, but I think one of the things that really helped me, one of the things that I see. That we have to do as human beings. If we're going to have a breakthrough, if we're going to live authentically, if we're going to be fulfilled, truly, if we're going to transform my life, a first place to start is we have to be willing to tell the truth.
One of the things that actually. I would say stops us from truly breaking free and breaking through all the ways we lied to ourselves in many ways as human beings, we're constantly, shall we say lying to ourselves about what we feel about who we are. Maybe you stay in a relationship and deep down you've been in it for a few years.
You've been in it for a decade. You've been in there for 20 years and. It's familiar. It's safe. It's comfortable, but deep in your heart, you know that it's no longer aligned. You're not in love. It's no longer lines. You no longer growing. You're no longer a vibrational match. But many times we stay in relationships that don't really work.
You out of familiarity, out of comfort, out of what will people say. And yet deep in ourselves. We know that it's not right. Perhaps, maybe someone listening in you're working a job that, deep in your heart, you know that this is not the reason for why you were put on the planet, but you stay out of safety and security and it eats us up inside.
I think when we deny our truth, when we deny our authentic knowing, it's painful, and I say that it should be painful, the pain is actually a feedback. The pain is a signal. The pain is a sign. The pain is simply a messenger giving us feedback as to where we're not aligned. And so what we tend to do as human beings I found is we tend to deny the pain.
We tend to distract from the pain. We tend to suppress the pain, drink in a way, sex in a way, social media in a way, whatever it is to not feel the pain because we're failing. What will happen if we truly acknowledge what's underneath the pain. And so I think if we're willing to use the pain as feedback to see where we're after, bring ourselves back into alignment, this is the key.
And so. For me, I had to get in touch with the truth of what I really wanted and what I already felt. And it was difficult and it was challenging, but it was so worth it. And so I would just invite everyone listening in as we begin the conversation to just ask themselves, okay, what lies am I telling myself?
Number two, what am I pretending to not know? Because in many ways we sometimes pretend. That we don't know when deep them, we do know. We're just afraid. So we have to acknowledge I'm afraid, but I do know, even if we don't take action, even if we don't do anything about our situation, at least acknowledge the truth.
Of what's truly there. And the willingness to feel the pain, the feel, the cost of what it is to not be aligned, to feel that I think many times by distracting ourselves, we allow ourselves to continue in situations because we're not feeling the impact that are truly authentic one for us. And so for me, it's been a continual process of courageously just following my soul and doing the best I can and going into the unknown.
And that, once I spoke to my father that led me to come to America. I won a green card in the lottery, came to the US with two suitcases and you know, one of the country, $800, I think 800 to a thousand dollars and just showed up. And that began my journey, my quest, and went and found teachers and mentors and authors.
Well, a lot of the folks I've read about, started to travel the world in search of fun. Thailand studied with monks in Israel, study with rabbis and India on and on and on. And that led to me working one-on-one with people and then small groups, larger groups and writing books and so forth. So that's a bit of my chit.
Kristel:
Wow. Okay. This is incredible. So such an inspiration and so much courage that you were able to really tune into that inner voice that knowing and going into that direction. And that is a really challenging thing to do. And I think where I want to go with this right now is talking about how can people tune into their own truth?
Because on my journey, I felt a lot of. No, I wouldn't say similar experiences, but I've done a lot of searching and I've been really interested in learning and growing and kind of a spiritual quest in a way. And that all started after my mom was diagnosed with cancer about five years ago. I looked at my life and I was like, well, what do I want to do with it?
And am I living up to my full potential? And then what ended up happening is I started to explore all of these different spiritual premises, all these different teachers, some things didn't serve me. Some beliefs that I was trying. It didn't resonate and it created more fear. Other things did, but it was this process for me of learning to trust myself because there's so much information out there and there are so many different beliefs.
There's so many different perspectives. And what I've learned, I think part of my big lesson is to kind of take what serves me and to leave the rest and to really be able to know. What that is.
So for those listening, how can they start that journey of knowing what is their own inner truth, and to build up that trust within themselves to know what they should be listening to and what they should be following.
Kute:
I think there's no right way or wrong way, but I think we have to first acknowledge that deep down, we do know, we know just acknowledgement that we know whether we follow that knowing or not, whether we listen to that knowing or not, whether we act on that knowing. We know, deep down. And I think if we start with the fact that we know, I believe there's a part of us at the deepest level that knows everything because at a deeper spiritual level, we are connected.
We are all connected to everything. And so if we look at, this is why I say it actually also starts with what I said, which is the willingness to be radically and ruthlessly honest with ourselves. That's the beginning because we know, I mean, how many times when I say you, I mean, everyone listening in, but how many times have you been, let's say in a relationship as an example, and you were in this relationship and you were like, I don't know if it's right for me.
I don't know if he's away from me. I don't know if she's right for me. I'm not sure. Should I stay? Should I go? We see the one. Is she the one I'm not sure. And you spoke to your friends. I'm confused. I mean, I love the person, but I'm not sure. I went back and forth for months or years or how. The moment you broke up, the moment you broke up, you went to your best friend and said, you know, I knew that wasn't going to work like the moment, but when we were in it.
So there's a part of us that knows. So it starts with the willingness to be radically that's what's radically and ruthlessly and compassionately, honest with yourself about it. This is my truth. This is my truth. And the willingness to give up the BS to give up the rationalizations, because the mind, if we're not careful can rationalize and justify any decision we make in order to ultimately keep ourselves safe and preserve our sense of identity.
We can make meaning and justify whatever we do. And so the courage to be radically honest, to look at ourselves, to look at what we feel to look at what we're doing and say, this is why I'm doing what I'm doing.
This is what I know. I may not like it. I may not want to do something about it. I may not even take action on it might just start with, let's say you're in a relationship just as a simple example that you know is not right. Just acknowledging the truth. I'm in a relationship that I know is not aligned.
I'm in a relationship that I know is not right for me, I'm in a job that I know is not right for me. And I would say, take the pressure off of yourself of having to do something about it. That's I think what people can begin is really aligning with the truth. Everything starts with the truth. The truth will set you free.
And to me, truth is well spirituality. And so even if you don't take action on what you know, take that pressure off so that you can say, okay, here is the truth. You can't change something until you bring yourself into a relationship with what is, and the truth brings you into relationship with what is.
I'm in a relationship that's not working. I'm not in love, it's not align. I'm in a job that I hate. You don't have to leave, take all the pressure off, but if you can get into a relationship with the truth, without any judgment and beat with that, that will tend to stir some feelings inside of you likely some feelings that will begin to brew and bubble inside of you that will start moving you in the direction of more authenticity.
And so I think we can start there. I think also when we don't live the truth. Some people might say, well, how do I know I'm lying to myself? If I'm lying to myself and how do I get in touch with the chip? Here's, here's what I would say, signs also to help you get in touch with your knowing and your truth to see when you're not.
But some people are confused, but I don't know when I'm not, well, here's a few signs that you can look for in your life when you're not truly living the truth. And you're not sure that you're not living the truth because you might be thinking you're living the truth because either you've just been you're in denial or you've just been living that for so long, that what you're living is what you think is real.
Here's how, you know, number one, you will tend to maybe experience a sense of emotional pain. As in the form of depression, sadness, anger, resentment than anger, resentment, emotional pain can be a signal that you're not honoring your truth. So that should be signal for you to check in and go, what am I not feeling?
What am I not trusting? What am I not honoring? The other signal might be you feel constantly lethargic or tired or heavy, and you don't have the energy because when we're not honoring our intuition and our truth, what a real authentic knowing is there's an internal blockage inside of us. And then a conflict, which over time it takes energy to keep doing.
The other way that you might see a no, they shouldn't honoring your truth. And your knowing is when we constantly lie to ourselves, that pain of that disconnect of that internal discord can manifest as a, let's say, a physical pain. Back ache, shoulder ache. There's something you're denying that you're not paying attention to and listening.
And as a result, the body, which has an intelligence, which keeps score, manifests that pain of what you're suppressing. So your body as a message to try and get you to pay attention. So it could be shoulder ache, backache, neck ache, something physical that manifests as a sign. It might manifest in a more consistent way.
If it's more consistent where let's say there's a physical disease. Could be a cancer, could be a diabetes, could be something as a consistent way of how we haven't truly felt our feelings honored our feelings, suppressed ourselves, abandoned ourselves, denied what we really know. And so it can manifest sometimes as a sickness in some way as to me, it's simply feedback for us to pay attention to something deeper inside.
And that, that thing we haven't acknowledged and honored is manifesting through our body. Sometimes you can see it where, when we don't honor the truth, because we're not in flow with our soul. We're not in flow with ourselves. Life stops flowing in some way. So there's kind of, we're stuck in life that reflects the stuckness of inner reality.
Also, what I found is when we're not surely honoring our truth and we're not honoring ourselves, we're not honoring our authentic nature, our intuition, our truth. We will sometimes manifest or attract people in our lives that might reflect the internal frustration or anger of our own deep subconscious, because to not honor our truth to abandon ourselves, to deny ourselves to neglect ourselves is to neglect our truth.
I think triggers a deep internal sadness and internal anger that we'll either conscious of, or sometimes we suppress them or not conscious of. And so we will tend to attract people in our lives. That play it out, act out that suppressed emotion that we're not even conscious and aware of. And so I think these are some ways to, we can look at and see ourselves in the reflection of our reality that we can use those signals as feedback in terms of paying attention to those signals as feedback.
So we can also go deeper and touch. I always tell people to pay attention to the signals in your body. Your body has an intelligence and your body will often give you internal clues as to when you're off and when you're not, when you're aligned and when you're not. And so when we become sensitive to something doesn't feel right. I felt something in my belly. I felt something in my heart. I thought it was in my chest.
Your body can be guiding you and giving you feedback, but we're often not paying attention. So I would say pay attention and tune in to the sensations and the signals of your body, because that can help you get in touch. A deeper sense of truth and intuitions.
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Kristel:
That's really interesting stuff. And one thing that I would love to touch on too is how can we, basically have this awareness without falling into judgment and fear. And that I think is like, if you're noticing that there's something off or you're not living maybe authentically with who you really are, how can you address that again, without falling into that judgment, which I think is a place that a lot of people naturally can go as if you're not doing things the way you want to, or that like idea of perfection, there can be this judgment that creeps in.
Kute:
First thing is the pain that you're feeling is a signal, it's not good or bad. And when you're not aligned, when you're not living authentically, it's meant to be. It's meant to be painful. You're not like supposed to be living in authentically and like, I feel great. So the fact that you're feeling off is a sign that you're healthy.
If you cut your finger, it's painful that’s pain, the fact that you're not being authentic, you're not living your truth and you don't feel great, this is actually a good thing. It's not a bad thing. So I think when we realized like, oh, something gives me as a human being is functioning and is working, I just have to pay attention to it and adjust.
Then we can take the judgment off of how we're feeling like, oh, I don't feel good. What's wrong with me? It's like, no, it's meant to not feel good when you're living with it. So realize that is the question. Is your relationship with it and what you do with that? The other thing I would say is yes, about perfection.
We have to realize that there is no such thing as perfection in this physical dimension. You and I, we are first and foremost, let's start from a spiritual level. We have to realize that we are spiritual beings. We incarnate into this human experience in this physical form, and we incarnate into this physical form to learn, to grow, to evolve.
The way I see it, life is a school. Life is a university for our souls to learn lessons and every situation, our relationships, our parents, our family dynamics, everything we go through and every experience is simply a, shall we say a classroom for our soul's evolution. And so there's no such thing as perfection.
If we're meant to do it perfectly, we wouldn't need to incarnate into this human experience. And so. The goal isn't perfection it's to learn, to evolve, to grow so that we can become more of who we really are, more of our true self. And so I think when we shift out perspective from simply a one dimensional way of looking at things, Achievement and success and attainment and money, and, you know, success by society standards, which is getting the goal that's one dimension.
But we look at the level of the soul and we'll remember the level of soul, which is really about our evolution. Then every experience becomes the vehicle for our soul's growth journey and evolution. And I think will success, when we shift that relationship and understand. Then we expand our perspective, which can shift how we look at ourselves.
Because if we're looking at things from just the one dimensional perspective, it's easy to get into judgment. I achieved it. I didn't achieve it. I didn't achieve it. Bad me. Let me judge myself. I did achieve it. Good me. Fantastic. We feel good about ourselves. Then we become very addicted and dependent to a certain superficial way of identifying and valuing ourselves based on success and failure.
But when we realize that we are souls, we're here to evolve that the real, shall we say, underlying purpose of life is the evolution of our souls. The evolution of our consciousness, and every experience is ultimately serving that. So on one level, no matter what happens on the level of the physical. Now, obviously it's wonderful to succeed and achieve your goals and make money, et cetera, et cetera, fulfill goals, dreams, desires.
But when we weren't like that, it's about the evolution and growth of my awareness of my soul and becoming more of who I really am. That's the goal. The experiences of vehicles to facilitate that. When we really understand that we shift our perspective to life, which expands awareness and perspective of life and relationship with life shifts, then no matter what happens so long as we are learning and growing and evolving so long as we are learning, growing, evolving, even if we didn't and succeed, even if we didn't achieve the goal, even if we didn't achieve what we set up to achieve some of as we're learning and growing and evolving.
Each day, the best we can be doing, the best we can and growing and learning the lessons from where we are with who we're with, then we're succeeding. And then I think we can start, the judgment can drop away because sometimes for instance, you can not get the thing. But you can become through the process and the journey of the pursuit who you become in the process is so huge what you learn about yourself and the person you become. And let's say the compassion and the understanding and the growth that you've developed within yourself is so vast that even if you didn't achieve the thing, if you really focused on the learning and that evolution. It shifts your relationship with the judgment.
And so, uh, perfection is not the goal at the level of the relative, the physical, there's no such thing as perfection on a spiritual level, then I'll bring it back for a second. I say that there's no such thing as perfection at the level of the relative. We live in a 3d world. There's no such thing as perfection.
There's up and down, black and white. Good and bad. This is a wall of, shall we say, Interdependent polarity opposites in the nature of life. And so it's creation. It's life is destruction. And so perfection isn't the goal. The real source of perfection is not at the level of the personality. It's at the level of our soul.
Our soul is perfect, at the deepest level you're already perfect. I'm already perfect. Nothing we do or don't do is going to change that. So when you can make peace with that deeper understanding, then it frees you up on the sort of surface level and the level of the personality to just have a bit of compassion for yourself.
And I always say that. The issue is really not the issue ultimately is how you relate with yourself. And so I think one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the compassion on our human journey. You're going to fall down, you're going to make mistakes. You're going to screw up. You're going to hurt people.
Sometimes you're going to bump your head. That's just part of the process of learning and evolving, but that's not the issue. The issue is, what did you learn? How did you grow and what can you implement into your life now?
Kristel:
So interesting. And I'm that kind of a little off branch from that you wrote a book called the Magic of surrender.
And I would love to talk a little bit about surrendering because I think that's hard. That's hard to do. It's hard to let go of that sense of control that I think makes us sometimes feel safe, but then surrendering is valid as like so liberating. And right now in the world with the pandemic and, um, people under a lot of stress, I would love your insights into this.
Kute:
That’s interesting. I do agree like when you say it's hard, but I was saying I was chuckling in my mind cause, cause I had this thought. It's actually not hard to surrender. We've just been conditioned. This, how hard is it to just let go and surrender? It's actually harder really to resist. We've just become conditioned to resist.
And we've gotten so used to as human beings to resist life that the resistance feels more normal. And so that surrender feels a little bit more difficult, but in fact, It's like doing yoga. It's like saying savsana position is so hard. Savasana position and laying down on the mat is so hard. It's actually the easiest thing.
We've just gotten conditioned otherwise. And so in terms of surrender, yes, because of our conditioning and programming, it's just become hard. But as human beings, we are all in a process of surrendering. You, me, whether you're spiritual, whether you're not spiritual, it doesn't matter whether you're the worst person on the planet or the most saintly person on the planet.
Pablo Escobar, El Chapo, mother Teresa Gretta Thunberg, Oprah. Every single human being who is breathing is in a process of surrender. We are actually all surrendering, life is surrender. In fact, I think that surrender is hardwired into our physiology. Life is reminding us the best when every moment, because every breath is a surrender.
You breathe in, you can't just breathe in, breathe in, breathe in, breathe in. I'm not going to breathe out. You have to just breathe out. That's like surrender being hardwired into your biologi. It's a letting go. It's an exhale. It's just a slow release. That is surrender. So in a sense, we're all in a process of surrender.
It's just how we participate with it. As we were born into this world, we all start aging. By the time we did 50 and 60 and 70 and 80 and 85 and the body starts changing for better or worse. It's just natural, the hair changes. And so we have to surrender. It's part of the process of being human. And so as you start realizing this surrender is a natural process, there's nothing esoteric or spiritual even, or Wuest.
You're human. You're in the process of surrender. So how are you going to go through it? Are you going to resist or are you going to open to it is really the question. So yes, in our culture, we have been conditioned to believe somehow that surrender is weak. That surrender is passive. That if you surrender, you're going to be taken advantage of, or you'll be left behind.
Or if you surrender, you won't achieve your goals, your dreams, your desires, you won't manifest what you really want. I'm actually saying through my book, the magic of surrender. Different question. Like what if you surrendered and you didn't get less, but you actually got more, more than you could imagine. More joy, more abundance, more prosperity, more blessings, more, more than you could actually imagine with your mind.
So to surrender really is to let go of contro,l to surrender is to stop trying to force and manipulate life into your limited idea of what you think and how you think it should look to surrender is to, shall we say, let go of this projection of who you think you should be and the life that you think you should be living in based on conditioning and society, teen parents, so that you can open to the authentic life.
That is really seeking to express and unfold through you to be, this is true surrender is to let go is to open yourself to life itself and allow life to live. Look at Mandela. Right? Look at people that think all surrender. Can you get anything done? Can I have an impact? Look at Mandela, I'm still the life that he started to live and ended up living was probably not what he quite imagined.
I'm sure he didn't imagine it. Yeah. I'm going to try and stand for freeing the people and an apartheid and sure I'll spend 27 years in prison. That sounds like a good idea. And that probably wasn't in his plan, but when at some moment, all of the great ones, Jesus put again, the Bruce Lee Muhammad Ali Mandela, Martin Luther king, Mother Theresa.
They had to surrender themselves to a vision that was bigger than themselves,that they probably couldn't even plan for themselves. To me, that's when life starts to live you. That's when life starts to manifest you best when you tap into a potential that is more than your own Schumann, ego, personal capacity, and you tap into an infinite potential of life and the universe, and that's when miracles happened.
And so in surrender there was a shift in the paradigm. I really feel that the old paradigm of how we've been living is shifting you talk about the pandemic COVID. I think that partly on a spiritual level, this pandemic and COVID is a spiritual evolutionary process that the universe is initiating us as human beings into a process of surrender.
We're being forced to let go of control. It's a spiritual process. We're being forced to surrender. You're not what we're going to do. Don't know what things can happen. Lock down. Don't look down, go here. Don't go there. Do that. We don't know what's going to happen. To me we're being forced to let go and surrender and kind of trust something bigger than ourselves because we just kind of don't know.
And so I feel as though, we as humanbeings as a whole. Uh, being from a bigger level, right. Being initiated into a different way of living, which is a shift from an ego based model, an ego based way of living life, which is all about control, which is all about what do I want for myself? What do I want for my life?
And we've been taught to ask the question in, in books and seminar, what do I want, what do I want, what do I want. The challenges? Many times you get what you thought you wanted. Only to be dissatisfied or you get what you thought you wanted only to realize that what you wanted or what you thought you wanted was not really what you wanted.
It was just what you thought you wanted based on who you thought you were, which was conditioned and many of the goals and the projections and the intentions and the dreams and desires were really projections. Based on past conditioning and programming from childhood and parents that maybe mum wasn't around and dad wasn't around, you were bullied.
So you felt not enough and unloved. And so somehow your goal was, boy, if I can achieve that and achieve that and achieve that thing, then I'm going to finally be enough and it's never enough that way. And so there's a shift happening to a paradigm of surrender from ego to soul, from personal power to solve power.
And to me, the question when we're living the path of surrender is really more about. What is it that life wants to express through me? Not what is it I want? Cause sometimes what we want is not what we need, what we want is not what is highest for less, you know, I'm sure Mandela didn't want to spend 27 years in prison and I'm sure Gandhi didn't want to go to prison and face some of the hardships, but this was part of their path.
And so we started asking ourselves the question, what is it that life wants to express? What is the deepest expression and impulse of what life wants to manifest to me, lift from me, create from the end to actually allow ourselves to be still, to be open and to listen to the deeper impulse of our soul, to allow that to express.
And then as we tune into that, to then align our actions, our plan, our strategy, our actions, our resources. With the right intention with this most authentic impulse. And so surrender doesn't mean you sit around and be lazy and do nothing, you know, surrender means you feel most true what is true. And then you align your strategy and your actions based on that.
And then go in that direction with everything you've got. So under sometimes. You don't win the race, but it means you give, you play it with your whole heart surrender is the willingness to have the courage to love fully, even though despite the risks of when you love. So when there is the willingness to not compromise your truth and who you are, and to stand for what you know is right, to me surrender is that willingness to commit to a vision that's bigger than yourself.
This allows you to go from a, a good life to a great love. And I think it's then that we have more impact and life takes on a different dimension. And so I always, this is why I say, if you want the magic and when I say magic, I just mean I'm not talking about Hocus Pocus. I just mean the sense of A life that is miraculous bigger than you can imagine, more than you can imagine. More joy, more abundant. If you want the magic, you have to surrender. And so the next level of your life requires the next level of you, but the next level of your life requires that you let go of what is no longer aligned. And as human beings, many times we tend to hold on to that, which isn't working out a familiarity out of comfort, out of safety.
And when we hold on to that, which isn't working, we tend to keep ourselves stuck. And so I would ask each person, if you want more magic in your life, really look at what's no longer working. What's no longer a mind relationship situation. What what's no longer, truly alive inside. Yeah. And rather than holding on to the old out of safety, be willing to release it.
Be willing to let it go. It's when you let go that you create space for the new and life can fill that vacuum. And so that's a little bit of the Magic of Surrender.
Kristel:
Incredible stuff. So there's going to be a link to that book in the episode details. And then I'll also put a link to your other book You are the one and yeah.
And a link to your website as well and your social media stuff too. So we are coming to the end. I'm going to do a quick wellness lightning round. Before we do that. Anything else you want to share any thing that you'd like everyone to know before we jump into those last question?
Kute:
I mean, I could keep going, so let's jump into the questions and maybe some things will come up.
Kristel:
Perfect. Okay, great. So first question is what's a book that you've read recently that you would recommend.
Kute:
Wow, I'll be honest I haven't really read anything recently, but a book that I would recommend maybe from. Way, uh, this is the classic book for me is the book called, I am that by an Indian spiritual teacher called Nisargadatta Maharaj
I am that, very simple, deep book. It's like concentrated tequila. It's like, it's just so strong that you can only read a sentence at a time. That is very powerful.
Kristel:
Awesome. And the second question is what's something that you do for your own personal self care on a regular basis.
Kute:
Couple of things. I think it's very simple. I think we tend to complicate it. For me every day, I exercise without fail. Pretty much some physical exercise. It's usually on average about an hour a day, but it's every day, whether I'm traveling, whether I'm working, whether I'm doing a seminar, it's just non-negotiable. And I tell people, if you don't have the time to do these things, then that even more the reason why you have to do these things.
And so I make, let's say exercise. I make it nota choice. So it becomes a choice to not be a choice. I don't have a choice about it many times when we make it a choice. When we wake up in the morning, we can more, should I do it, or should I not? It's not a choice that's gone. So even if I feel like it or not, I don't let my current mood determine my action or whether I'm going to do it.
So. Whether I'm working 18 hours a day for 12 days during my events or a weekend, I exercise. And so it really, for me is a key. The other thing I do is I meditate. That's another key. And the other thing I do is I, this is I've been doing this for about 20 years now. I drink a gallon of water a day and I think water is a key to health. I do a lot of different health things, but if you had to take everything away and only leave one, I'd say drink a gallon of water a day. Most people don't realize the power of that. Your skin will change. Your mindset will shift. I mean, it is a foundational thing that is so underrated that we don't do as a culture.
Kristel:
Perfect. And then last question is knowing what you know now, what advice would you give to yourself from 10 years ago?
Kute:
Wow. What advice would I give? I just say, keep being bold, be bolder. Just go for it. Be bold. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Just like take the risks unapologetically in a direction of what your soul knows.
Kristel:
Well, thank you so much for all the wisdom shared and for taking the time with me today, I really appreciate it.
Kute:
Thank you so much.