Kindra Hall | Rewrite Your Story and Change Your Life
LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS HERE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kindra-hall-rewrite-your-story-and-change-your-life/id1500457853?i=1000541222106
LISTEN ON SPOTIFY HERE: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7C6bDneVpNpp8sorvtTMqm
This is a must-listen episode with an award-winning storyteller. Did you know the stories we tell ourselves completely guide & shape our perception of who we are? Listen in as Kindra Hall shares the 4 step process for rewriting your story.
Key Takeaways From This Episode
The first step to making a fresh start in your life
Why you need to analyze your limiting beliefs
How negative thoughts can impact your future
The stories you should choose for yourself
Disclaimer: All information and views shared on the Live Greatly podcast & the Live greatly website are purely the opinions of the authors, and are not intended to provide medical advice or treatment recommendations. The contents of this podcast & website are intended for informational and educational purposes only. Always seek the guidance of your physician or other qualified health professional when you have any questions regarding your specific health, changes to diet and exercise, or any medical conditions.
Resources Mentioned In This Episode
About Kindra Hall
Kindra Hall has become the go-to expert for storytelling in business and beyond. She is the best-selling author of Stories that Stick: How Storytelling Can Captivate Customers, Influence Audiences, and Transform Your Business. Stories that Stick debuted at #2 on the Wall Street Journal Bestseller List and Forbes said it “may be the most valuable business book you read.” Her highly anticipated second book, Choose Your Story, Change Your Life: Silence Your Inner Critic and Rewrite Your Life from the Inside Out, releases in January of 2022.
Kindra Hall is a sought-after keynote speaker trusted by global brands to deliver messages that inspire teams and individuals to better communicate the value of their company, their products and their individuality through strategic storytelling. Hall is also the Chief Storytelling Officer at Success Magazine where she shares the inspiring, often untold, stories of achievers like Daymond John, Deepak Chopra, James Altucher and Misty Copeland in print and on the podcast Success Stories with Kindra Hall.
Connect with Kindra
Instagram: @kindrahall
LinkedIn: Kindra Hall
About Vegamour
Vegamour is the sponsor for this episode. Vegamour is a holistic approach to hair wellness that incorporates clinically tested plant-based ingredients that work in tandem to promote healthy, beautiful hair naturally, without using harmful chemicals or short-term ‘fixes’ that can lead to long-term problems. They study the power of nature through the lens of science to bring you the ultimate in total hair wellness & beauty for a lifetime of happiness.
Vegamour simply models nature’s holistic approach to healthy growth & function by combining bioavailable plant-based actives, enzymes, and proteins in a 360, inside/out approach to create the optimal ecosystem for hair wellness.
Vegamour uses the world’s finest, hand-curated, natural ingredients to ensure quality and efficacy. They cared enough to set up their own sustainable supply chains to bring beautiful, natural ingredients into everything they formulate.
In return, they take care of the land and the people who help them bring this true love to you and your hair.
Connect with Vegamour
Website: www.vegamour.com
Instagram: @vegamour
Facebook: Vegamour
Pinterest: @vegamour
To obtain 20% off from Vegamour, visit their website at www.vegamour.com and use promo code GREATLY20.
Kristel Bauer, the Founder of Live Greatly, is on a mission to help people thrive personally and professionally. She is a corporate wellness expert, Integrative Medicine Fellow, Keynote Speaker, TEDx speaker & Physician Assistant experienced in Integrative Psychiatry and Functional Medicine.
Follow her on:
Instagram: @livegreatly_co
Clubhouse: @livegreatly
LinkedIn: Kristel Bauer
Youtube: Live Greatly, Kristel Bauer
To Book Kristel as a speaker for your next event, click here.
Episode Transcript
Kindra (Teaser)
That first step is to catch these limiting beliefs and see, there's a bigger story there that isn't serving me. The next step is to go deeper into that subconscious to analyze what stories are there, are they true? Where did it come from? Does this story serve me?
Kristel (Guest Introduction)
If you're looking keen to improve yourself talk, you're going to gain a ton of value from today’s episode with Kindra Hall.
Kindra is the Chief Storytelling Officer for Success Magazine, and she is a wall street journalist best seller of the book stories that stick with a new book coming out, Choose Your Story, Change Your Life, Silence Your Inner Critic and Rewrite Your Life from the inside out. Kendra and I are going to be talking about how you do that.
How do you change your story and get out of the pattern of those automatic negative stories that we tell ourselves? So this is going to be an incredible episode. I'm really, really pumped to share this with you. Let's jump right into it and welcome Kindra Hall to the show.
Kindra:
I know I'm so excited. Thanks for having me Kristel.
Kristel:
My pleasure. So to start, I would love for you to share a little bit about yourself. You got a lot of really exciting things coming up, and we'd just love for you to share a little tidbits about your background and what you're currently up to.
Kindra:
Of course, well, as a title, I often tell people that I am a professional storyteller, which I know is a title sounds made up.
And I suppose in a way that it, it is, but really my entire work is in the power of stories and it ranges from the stories we tell outwardly in our business. And then also now the stories that we tell inwardly to ourselves and how that shapes our perception of who we are and what we're capable of. So I'm an author.
That's one way that I get the message that I share this message. I do a lot of keynote speaking. And additionally, it's funny I was just out to dinner with my sister the other night and she, you know, we started with her and everything that's happening in her life. And then she looked at me and said, and how are you?
And it was funny because you have those moment where you pause and you're like, I could tell her everything that's happening, where the word. Or, but what I actually felt most naturally inclined to want to share was, uh, something that had happened with my daughter and son just the night before. So there's another big part of my life is mother of two.
We live in New York city and yeah. So it's a wild time.
Kristel:
Right. For sure. How old are your kids?
Kindra:
My son is 10 and my daughter is 9.
Kristel:
Oh, my gosh. I love it. Okay. So I have, um, a 10 year old daughter. I have a six-year-old son. So there's still a bit overlap there. Yes.
Kindra:
You got going on. Yeah. As does everyone. Right?
So it's always, you know, it's the work of seeing a lot going on and being excited about it or feeling capable of handling it versus, oh my gosh, I have so much going on. Uh, those deep size.
Kristel:
Yeah. So you got the book that's going to be coming out in January, which is super exciting. And then also what I found really interesting was the title that you had, or have of the Chief Storyteller at Success Magazine?
I was like, I really like the way that sounds. Yeah. How long have you, or were you working with Success Magazine? How did that all start?
Kindra:
It's a funny thing is we think, I feel like even when we're younger or even in our early twenties as we go to college or we're starting to pursue a path.
We always think about it in very definite terms. Right? Well, I'm going to do this and then I'm going to do this and I'm going to do this. And it's more like a checklist than anything. Now my checklist was always more random in general, just because I realized at a young age that my talent, my skill, what I was good at, what I was interested in was storytelling, which you can be a journalist or a creative writer, and those are kind of your options.
And so my checklist has always been a little bit scattered. However, this, this role with success was nothing I really ever anticipate. Anticipated what happened, but it was the result of the pandemic where an opportunity just kind of arose, you know, the pandemic, of course, we all know it started in March, 2020 at the time, my primary work was traveling around the world, um, or at least around the country, seven, eight times a month, uh, speaking to audiences of five to 500.
Like 500 to 20,000 people. So that came to a screeching halt and there was a period of time where I remember the night in particular, I was sitting on the sofa, it was April 15th. We had just hosted my son's ninth birthday over zoom. And the kids were in bed. My husband had fallen asleep and I asked out loud.
What should I do with this time now? Because I'm not traveling, which used to take up so much of my time. Clearly it was really unclear at that point, what was going to happen? And I asked the question out loud and kind of offered like a really open space for it. Like I wasn't hanging on to, I kind of been forced to let go of the story I saw for myself, or at least suspend it for a period of time.
So it was a very honest, open question of what do I want to do with this time? Who do I want to become in this time? And, you know, I thought maybe I get a PhD or, you know, maybe I would, and of course they knew I had another book to write. But the next day I got a call from success magazine and you know, we'd been time friends.
I'd worked with Success for many years. Uh, they were in a transitional period. I was in a transitional period and we just decided to join forces and. And so it was really, I was there for a really big issue. The, um, women's issue that we featured. I think it was 10 really incredible women. I launched a podcast, which I've since stopped recording, but yeah, it was one of those moments where it was, I was, I was okay letting go of an old story and really open to a new one.
And I think when you do that, The new ones come like literally the next day I got a phone call.
Kristel:
That's so interesting. Yeah. It's funny how sometimes we have this idea of what our lives should look like. And then we hold onto that so tightly that we can miss out on all of these other potential opportunities that might be a better fit for ourselves.
So how do people get out of their heads? And the stories that they have created for themselves, or maybe that other people have created for them. And how can people start to rewrite their story? And I guess start fresh with possibilities and fresh energy.
Kindra:
Well, and I feel like it's important that, so this is the topic of my new book, which releases at January 11th, 1-11-22.
I feel like it has a good ring to it. Um, yeah, it works, but the topic, so the new book is called, choose your story, change your life, silence your inner critic and rewrite your life from the inside out. And I feel like it's really important to say right off the bat that I know saying Change your story or rewrite your life sounds so flippant or empty in a way, or just something that you would see on an inspirational quote magnet.
And it sounds like a good idea, but it's exactly the question you asked, but how, and, and what does that really mean? And, and I think that was one of the first things that was really important to me is this is something that I myself for my entire life have see the world in stories. I see my life in stories, um, and I've always understood that life isn't days, it's stories and it's stories within those days.
And then those days add up to weeks and maybe the story changes over here and, and really wanting to offer not only a really nice idea. For, as you said, starting fresh or changing your life, but a method for doing so. And I think the most important thing is to realize, and to start at the beginning and know that in your mind.
And I know you probably, you, you know this are constantly stories being told, we are telling ourselves stories on a daily, weekly, hourly basis. And there's so deeply buried in our subconscious. And they're so automatic that we don't even realize that we are. We are basing our decisions on these stories or nothing else, not taking it like we're taking or not taking action based on these stories.
And so that's really the first step of changing them is realizing that they're there in the first place.
Kristel:
That's so interesting. And I'm thinking like personally, when I started to practice mindfulness and I had more awareness about that inner chatter, I was really surprised. I was like, oh man, I didn't even realize there was like this stuff going on.
And one big step that I took was I decided like, I want to figure out what my personal mission is and I want to go for it. I don't want to start like, listen to that negative self-talk I'm going to just. I was like, I'm an all-in, I'm going to break out of it. And I was always in my mind, I thought I was an awful public speaker.
I thought I was really bad at it because it made me so nervous and I never wanted to do it in college like public or that speech class was like my worst nightmare. And it was funny. I was like, huh, I have all this knowledge that I want to share. I wonder if that's like a really true belief about myself or it's just that maybe I was uncomfortable.
So then I started lecturing at the University level and I realized, no, I actually love it when I'm talking about things that I enjoy and that I'm confident in. So it was like this like switch. Oh my gosh, this is so interesting cause I changed my story, you know? And like you, you do a lot of speaking and I do as well.
And it's so funny thinking back to myself in college. Petrified. And I have, uh, been doing a TEDx talk next week. I'm like, here we are.
Kindra:
Well there's so there's so much there. So you really broke it. You exhibited this method in a perfect format. So in the book, I lay out a four step process to go through for changing your stories and really most importantly, choosing better ones.
And so the first step is to catch these limiting stories in action. And they often don't sound like stories. They sound like limiting beliefs. Like I'm a bad public speaker. I am not good with money. I will always be chubby. I am unlovable. I am not enough. I'm not whatever these things are. So you've got to catch these, catch these statements, these limiting beliefs in the act.
And one thing that I would recommend just an action point for the listeners is to Martin. I know it's very personal to talk about being in the shower, but let me, let me talk about your shower here tomorrow. When you go to take a shower or maybe you haven't taken one yet today and you're, you're in the shower.
I want you to go about the shower. That's fine. Do your thing. But when you get to the point in your shower, where you're going to put conditioner in your hair. So make sure it's also a hair washing day. I don't wash my hair every day, but when you get to the point, I want you to remember me when you get to the point where you're putting conditioner in your hair, and I want you to stop right there and say, so what have I been saying this whole time in the shower?
Hm. Like, what are the thoughts? What are the stories of, what are the, like, I don't have enough time. I'm a terrible mother. So I have that, like the pushing down or the squeezing of the conditioner into your hair. Cause then you're supposed to let your conditioner sit for a minute. Right? Use that as a trigger to stop and say, wait, what have I been saying this?
Cause you've been saying something. So that's the first step is to catch this chatter to like stop it and see what's there. Which is the next step to analyze it, to go in and ask yourself. And in the book, I outline six different questions. You can ask yourself. And you mentioned it right there. If you have this goal to share your message, this story about you being a bad public speaker.
Doesn't serve you like you can't have that. So you either have to give up the story or you have to give up the goal. Like those are your options. Really. And so that's one of the questions you can ask is, does this story serve me? Another question is where does this come from? Because this belief that you're a bad public speaker comes from somewhere.
And as you mentioned, you said you went back to college. And can you remember the room where you had to give some of your college presentations? Like, do you remember the actual lecture hall?
Sponsor Ad
So I'm excited to share more of this conversation with you, but first, a quick word about our sposnor, Whether you've been experiencing hair loss or thinning hair damage, or if you're just looking to have healthy, vibrant hair, you're going to love what I'm about to share about our sponsor Vegamour.
I'm all about clean beauty products that actually work. And with Vegamour’s plant-based formulas, you can have healthier and thicker hair without all the harmful side effects. Since using their eyelash Serum. My eyelashes look noticeably longer and no joke everyone ion my house has commented on how wonderful my hair.
After using their shampoo and conditioner, not to mention my hair's looking healthier and fuller. If you're looking to enhance your hair care journey, I recommend their grow collection of hair, lash and brow products for visibly thicker, fuller, longer looking strands, lashes and brows in as little as 90 days, to be honest, I haven't always paid attention to my hair care products.
But after trying Vegamour, I have a whole new appreciation for hair health, and I will never go back. You can get 20% off of your first purchase with Vega more using the code greatly 20 by visiting Vegamour.com. That's V E G A M O U R.com.
Kristel:
Yes, I do. It's like, you know, dim lighting everyone's staring at you. Like I remember it very specifically, like having to stand up there behind a little desk.
Kindra:
Yeah. Do you remember like what, one of the, maybe not even what one of the speeches was, but do you remember how you felt right before you were like, can you picture a specific time where you went up on stage?
Kristel:
Yes, I can. I remember being really, really nervous.
Kindra:
Yeah. So, and all of that. And my first book stories that stick, I talk about stories as being the thing that sticks and which is why you should use it in storytelling, in your sales and your marketing, but the same works inside of us. This story, this moment you had right before getting up to give a speech where you were like, freaking, I remember, cause it's funny here I am a keynote speaker.
I freak out. And I'm getting better because of my self storytelling, but I remember being on the speech team in high school and I can remember exactly the school I know exactly because that was at a speech meet. I remember exactly the school. I remember exactly where I was standing. I remember I was just about to go into the room to give my speech and I wanted to pull the fire alarm.
It was standing right in front and I was like, I bet if I were to do it with my just so I wouldn't have to go, I can make sure it's so clearly. And so these stories, these things that have happened to us, they stay with us, they live. And whether you remember it that clearly on a daily basis, you probably don't, you're not thinking about your college, but it lives within you.
Okay. So, so that first step is to catch the limiting beliefs and see like, oh my gosh, there's a bigger story there that isn't serving me. The next step is to go deeper. Into that subconscious to analyze what stories are there and are they, so are they true? Where did it come from? And does this story serve me. That's the second step.
Kristel:
I absolutely absolutely love that. And I like the idea of having a set time to do this because otherwise it's like harder to get into that habit. So I love the shower idea. I have to ping our sponsor for Live Greatly because we have a new sponsor Vegamour. I'm obsessed with hair conditioner.
You mentioned it. I was like, oh, it smells so good. It smells like bergamot. And I use essential oils. So I love that. Like, it's like a relaxing time. Cause I have this like great smelling shampoo and conditioner. And I love the idea of like having that be a reflective moment. Where you can just tend to go inward.
Cause otherwise, like I know as a mom, our lives are busy and you're, you know, you're helping your kids and then you're working. So like the shower is like your time.
Kindra:
Yeah. There's definitely power when you lock the door on the, on the bathroom and it's a great way to start. And my hope is that as people adopt this, this understanding that I'm always telling myself a story and that story is creating my future.
And if I'm not paying attention to what stories I'm telling myself, I am going to inadvertently create a future that maybe I don't want, or maybe isn't as incredible as the future that I know I deserve. And once we adopted this as a belief that, you know, we need to start just like you start riding a bicycle with training wheels, you need to start by having a certain time stop and say, what am I thinking right now?
What story am I telling myself? But that over time, You can just catch it when it's happening. So for example, I, I was in the shower. Maybe I just do it all the time. Now in the shower, I was in the shower and I was telling myself a story of, I don't have enough time today. I don't have enough. And it was just going on and it was an, it goes into I've over-scheduled myself.
I've done. And I stopped myself and said, hold on. And that is. So I caught it, I analyzed it where these stories coming from. Are they true? Well, the fact that I have a lot going on is true. It is like I have a lot going on, but then the third step is to choose a better story. There is evidence in my life of at times where, I mean, just this week, last week of feeling overwhelmed, however, I can choose the story of when I was in graduate school.
And I was a TA. So I was teaching classes. I was writing my master's thesis. I was managing an Outback steakhouse. I was extracurricular, not extracurricular, but like a project for a persuasion course where I kind of designed a marketing campaign. I had no business doing marketing. I didn't know, like I was running that and I was working the night shift.
Well, I mean, it was a karaoke bar, so it's always the night shift. Oh, fun thing, and karaoke and let the leading and I am my best when. I'm full. Like that's when my sharpest now sustained no like for long, long periods of time, like eventually some of those things had to give, but to choose to think back so I can picture writing my paper.
I can picture my work at the Outback steakhouse. I can picture being at the bar. I can see all of these scenes clearly and choosing to tell myself that story of you have done way more than this, and this is when you're your best, accept it don't should yourself into, well, I should have more, I should be spending more time doing what, like my nails are always in complete disarray.
Okay. Like, there's a lot of other things that are going right in my life as a result.
Kristel:
I love that. And it's those moments where you can fall back into these like old habitual patterns. And when you have that awareness, that creates a choice and then you can decide it's like, all right, it's not always going to be easy, but you at least can like start planting the seeds of a new way to go forward.
And I think that's, that's how it all starts and it's not always comfortable. You know, it can definitely be a challenge, I think, to break out of some of these old stories, but that's also part of it. Like, what's the story you're telling yourself about being uncomfortable and I'm learning, I'm growing.
So whatever it is that you're going through in your life, you have the power to choose your story, even though it's not always easy. So I absolutely love, love, love this message. And we're going to put a link to pre-order the book in the episode details. So if you're listening and you're like, I've got to check this out, I want to learn more.
You can access the book, um, and make sure you get it when it comes out in January.
Kindra:
And we also have where, because I didn't want to wait until I get, I'm also not a very patient person. And I wanted people to start the new year already feeling like they had made some progress. So we do have kristel some really cool pre-order bonuses.
And the one that's the biggest is I'm doing a 12 week live course where we did a big survey to ask people like, what is the number one story that you tell yourself, that's holding you back. And we got so many responses and there was, there was a set of like 12 or 15 that kept coming up, kept coming up.
So over this 12 week of pre-order. Every Monday, I'm going to be going live in a Facebook group that you get for, you get access to by pre-ordering the book and talking about each one of those big limiting beliefs and giving very specific strategies of what stories you should be then looking for and choosing instead in your life to overcome that belief.
Kristel:
What was the, do you remember what the most common one was?
Kindra:
It was definitely about being enough.
Kristel:
That's what I thought too. That's what popped into my head. I feel like that's such a struggle for so many people. Yeah, that sounds amazing. So I would love to segue a little bit more coming close to the end here, but I would love to hear what is one of the most inspiring stories that you've told for Success Magazine?
Right. You've interviewed some big names that have had some incredible stories. I would just love to hear your like, top. I mean you can choose.
Kindra:
There are, there really are so many. I interviewed Misty Copeland who was the first black principal ballerina at the New York city Ballet. I think it was the New York city ballet.
I get the two ballet companies mixed up one of the big ballet companies. I interviewed Damon John. I interviewed, um, Deepak Chopra. One of the stories that Deepak Chopra told me was that I loved was that his mother always told him stories before going to bed. And they were stories that helped lead and guide and shape the kind of person he could become.
And, and I didn't get the impression. And now the details are a little fuzzy that she was necessarily reading those stories to him. I think she was just telling them from memory, which I thought I've found extremely. I thought it was really cool. One of the stories that has like one of the actual stories or people that has really stuck with me, and I think.
I think that's one of the important things about sharing our stories is you just never know. And that's one of the in step four of the method I say, installing these new stories and making sure, like putting in the effort to make sure these chosen. Or what becomes automated or at least, you know, to go to it as soon as you're hearing old story coming up.
And one of the things I recommend is once you find one of your chosen stories, one of those stories that makes you feel good or makes you want to move forward, that you share it out loud with somebody so that it re affirms it for you. But then there's also the added benefit that you're giving someone else a gift.
And one of the, one of my favorite interviews was actually with Ryan ser hand, who. Is Bravo TV star, a huge real estate agent here in New York city. And he came to New York to be on Broadway. Like he wanted to be in musical theater. I think it was the musical theater. I don't think it was just straight up acting.
And the fact that he went from that to what he does now. Again, it was one of those moments where I think such an important thing for any of us to do, especially in these times is to let go of our should stories. And, well, this was my plan and this is what I thought I was supposed to do and be paying attention to the other stories that are happening around us that are maybe leading us in a different direction, but it's really the direction we were meant to go.
Kristel:
Love it. Absolutely love it. Okay. So we are coming towards the end. I'm going to do a quick wellness lightning round with you, or you just tell me what first comes to your mind. But before we do that, is there anything else Kindra, you want to share before we jump to that last portion.
Kindra:
No, I am just really, I hope that you check out the book and that I would love that if you do get it and join in the group, you let me know how this goes.
It's a risk for me. It's almost like a shift for me to be talking about inward storytelling versus outward, but yeah. And of course I'm on Instagram. You can follow me there. I'm sure you can put those details in there.
Kristel:
Yep. I'll have that. Fantastic. Okay. So wellness, lightning round. First question is what is a self care practice that is a non-negotiable for you.
Kindra:
Ooh, that is a really good question. I would say Spin Glass, and it sounds so cheesy or like obvious, but I really, I go to spend no longer for physical wellness, but because that is the place where I feel where all the other outside noise, even my inner, my inner chatter is awesome.
When I'm in Spin Class, I have nothing but good things to say about myself in spin class. I don't know that's my place. So as often as possible.
Kristel:
And then what is a recent book that you have read that you would recommend?
Kindra:
Oh gosh, I just, what book did I just finish? Oh, well I was reading fiction, actually the book I really enjoyed the book in five years.
So if you check that one out, it was really good for, and you'll understand why it's kind of this like suspension of a story. Another book that I'm a working my way through, but it's really heavy. So it's Slow is Flow by it's me Holly. I don't know the last one, but the book is called flow and I also love Big Magic, but it's been a long time since I've read that one by Elizabeth Gilbert.
Kristel:
Awesome. Okay. Last question, knowing what you know now, what advice would you give to yourself from 10 years ago?
Kindra:
I would say just keep being you.
Kristel:
Love it. This has been amazing, Kindra. Thank you so much. I'm super excited for your book to come out and I've just absolutely loved our conversation.
Kindra:
Thank you so much for having me.